The Wedding

August 17th, 2003 5:53 AM

So. The Wedding. Lots to think about, and too little time and conciousness left in the night to recount it all here. But here are a few thoughts.

It was supremely strange for both Jim and Laura Farrand to come up to me during the reception dinner and thank me for livening up the night with my mohawk. I felt like I should be thanking them for giving me the approval to wear it tonight.

I feel slighted by God in regard to asking Christy to dance. I was pressured into asking her during a swing song, which neither of us could or would dance to (and we both made that clear to the one asking), and she said that her “No” was a “No to swing, not no to dancing to other genres.” So it came as a huge fucking surprise and annoyance when the ballroom, which had been reserved until midnight, emptied out at eleven o’clock (while I was waiting for a song which I could dance to) when Liz and Matt left in the Limo, and never filled up again. My query of “So are you going to take me up on that dance?” was denied both by the emptiness of the ballroom, and the reply of “I have to drive my [drunk] mom and sister home.” Worst.

It bothered me during the cemermony that most of our friends aren’t particularly religious, yet we all go to these cermonies and (perhaps only some of us) get emotional. The emotion, at points, seems so contrived. But then I tried to imagine what marriage would be like without the religous traditions, and decided that Liz emailing the fools one day with a message that said “I’m married!” would be fucked because no one would have any sensible way in which to dissipate the emotion such an announcement generates. At least the religious way allows people to dispell the emotion in a coherent fashion.


i’d question your statement that the emotion is contrived just because the person expressing it isn’t religious. the emotion, after all, is being expressed because of the marriage (as in, the pairing of these two people) and not because of any particular religious ceremony.

and the “religious way” definitely isn’t necessary. there’s many more approaches between a traditional christian wedding and an email saying “I’m married!”… if nothing else, a non-religious ceremony which celebrates the marriage comes to mind.

i guess i fail to see how religion ties into any of this.

Posted by: gary on October 7th, 2003 2:16 AM

I don’t mean to suggest that it’s all contrived, but I don’t think I’d feel quite so emotional at a ceremony that didn’t involve the religious aspects. I’m guessing that a non-religious ceremony wouldn’t involve quite so many traditional aspects that are present almost entirely because “that’s the way it’s done.” Those are the aspects which make me feel full of contrived emotion.

That’s why I think, for myself at least, that the religious component adds a dimension of illusory emotion. Or maybe I’m just in heavy denial — I can’t tell.

Posted by: kasei on October 7th, 2003 9:18 AM