High School
I was thinking last night how much of a complete loser I was in high school. I got kicked out of two math classes and managed to fail half of the AP tests I took. Yet none of that bothers me. What bothers me most was that I never fully put time into the things that I might have been good at. I felt truly honored to be able to play in samo’s symphony orchestra among some amazing musicians, yet I always blew off practicing and generally coasted my way through my three years under the conductor, Jeff Edmons.
I was able to dig up CNN’s story about our orchestra during the semester prior to our trip to Spain in 1996. I’m even in the quicktime clip of the orchestra practicing. The clip is so quaint in its 1995 sized resolution.
Over and over in the six years since I left the orchestra I have felt deep regret over not trying harder, mostly because I felt I had let down the truly exceptional students and Mr. Edmons. On the last day he conducted our orchestra, four or five students, myself included, hung around during lunch (the symphony orchestra rehersed just prior to the lunch period) talking with Mr. Edmons. I remained silent speaking only after everyone else had left, “Thank you for everything.” What I really meant was, “Thank you for always trying. I’m sorry I never did.” I’m not sure if what I meant was at all conveyed in what I said, but I hope it was.