Identity

March 19th, 2004 12:56 AM

One by one, I’m losing the things that, for so long, have been the basis for how I define myself. Which is difficult since I don’t know who I consider myself to be anymore. Any help would be appreciated :)

#General
Next: Memory
Previous: The Dentist

Comments

Well, if you’re not in the mood to go back and read through every single blog entry here in an attempt to rediscover essential parts of yourself (which is at least one reason people continue to write things like blogs on a daily/semi-daily basis, thus making one potential solution ironically obvious), I can only offer three words of advice… “in my pants”.

Posted by: Benjamin on March 19th, 2004 10:22 AM

I feel as if you’re missing my point. The things that were true during the vast majority of the posts on this weblog are no longer true. Or true to a lesser extent. I’ve lost things that used to be very central to who I thought of myself as. Re-reading the posts here would give me a good idea of where I’m coming from, but still leave me questioning where I’m going to.

Posted by: kasei on March 19th, 2004 10:33 AM

The entries posted on this weblog remain true. That your thoughts/feelings/musings are no longer applicable does not devalue their truth whatsoever.

If you’ve lost the things that were centrally important, then you should figure out what those things were and what each did for you. Sounds like you’ve got a clean slate and while that can be unnerving, it can also be a chance to put some other more deserving things into a place of central importance.

For instance, you should consider filling the void by giving generously to your friends who at the moment would appreciate nothing more than pre-ordered copies Hitman 3 and Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, both for the Playstation 2. Or… you could take up a new hobby, like sheet shooting. “Pull.” bang

Posted by: Benjamin on March 19th, 2004 11:54 PM

Knowing where you’re going isn’t necessarily the important part. I’ve found that out recently. I used to make a point of not having a set plan for anything more than a day or two in advance, then I fell into what I thought would be a good 4-5 year plan, which totally fell through.

I fell apart after that and now I’m completely lost. I’m just taking chances and opportunities as they are offered to me and hoping for the best.

Knowing where I’m going now would only make me afraid that this new plan will crash down on me as well. I guess I’m just skittish now. I like to keep my options open because I never stop feeling like the rug is going to be ripped out from under me.

Another important thing to remember is that a person isn’t what he or she does or what he or she has. What makes a person is more than that, at least I think so. I am not just the things I have, or have done or will do. I’m also my thoughts, feelings and wants. These things cannot be lost, but they also cannot be kept in psychological tupperware, they’re like water in many states flowing, staying, evaporating, but it’s never really lost.

Posted by: Sara on March 21st, 2004 11:07 AM