Luddite Smoke
So I suppose I should write down what happened last (Friday) night. At about a quarter to 5am, some loser decided it would be a good idea to set off fire extinguishers in both Cragin and Metcalf. I’m not sure they realized what would happen, but the ammonia phosphate that the extinguishers discharged immediately set off the smoke alarms in both dorms. So now, klaxons are screaming and lights are flashing, and two dorms-full of somewhat inebriated residents stumble out into the snow, assuming another inebriated resident has pulled the fire alarm as a prank. This theory is quickly forgotten while coming down the stairwell where, by the time we got to the second floor, people were having an extremely difficult time breathing because of all the chemicals in the air (at the time, it seemed very possible that the thick white smoke-like stuff filling the air could have been actual smoke from a real fire).
The Norton fire department arrived on scene a few minutes later. Relatively soon thereafter, we’re all hearded across campus into Balfour-Hood where we won’t be in a position to freeze to death as we mill around shivering and joking in that nervous, what-else-can-we-do-but-joke? fashion. After an hour milling around Balfour trying to find an open couch on which to nap, a Norton fireman, and a Wheaton Public Safety office arrive to give us the lowdown. Cragin residents are shit out of luck; the ammonia phosphate is so dense in Cragin, that the dorm will have to be cleaned professionally meaning residents will have to find a place to sleep during the rest of the night as re-entrance will not be possible until late on Saturday. Metcalf is in a better condition, and we would be let back in shortly.
And then for the kicker.
Ammonia phosphate fire extinguishers aren’t so much fire extinguishers as they are technology extinguishers. The Norton fireman explained that within a matter of days, all of the electronic equipment that had been exposed to the ammonia phosphate would likely stop working. Permanently. Computers, clocks, stereos, TVs. All of it. So the damage caused by setting off two fire extinguishers, presumably as a prank, has just jumped to an astounding figure in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. Hopefully my Ti will be fine, since it wasn’t exposed to much (if any) of the corrosive chemical, but there are a lot of people for which the same can’t be said.
Savages.